Just got done talking to my ex-boyfriend.. feels weird to say that title. Who knows what i'm doing in life right now. These sleepless nights have become way to familiar lately. I better lay down some thoughts before I even try to catch some Z's. Well my mind haha got me caught up in the idea of a turning point right now. I'm quite sick of who I am right now. A girl looking at the glass half empty, getting stuck in stupid situation after stupid situation, being involved with the usual high school douchebags. I am ready to back to April to bad time machines, portals and all things of those sorts are just fantasy. Huff.. well the least I can do is bring my attitude back. I called up my friend Emily today and we went for a walk were I let everything go. The walk was long and full of tears. I'm sick of tears. But I got a lot of answers so it was well worth while. I am keeping my distance from Sterling and Tim they follow the guidelines of heartbreak way too closely it almost makes me suck to think I almost got caught up there. I need to be there for Steve. Even though he broke my heart I believe it was for the right reason, whatever that reason may be. For some reason the harder I try to figure out why he just wants to be friends the more frustrating it gets and the answer just simply won't surface. So i'm sorry for bringing God into this but I guess he thinks I shouldn't know now but it will come to me eventually. Steve and I carried on a rather small, friendly, usual conversation like any other about cats. It's sad how an hour conversation about letting my 3 month old cat by my stair railings can make me feel like I can make it through anything now. Oh what girls do for boys. I don't know how to feel about Steve right now. Something is going on with him. I just know I should be here for him. Everything is going to be okay. We were meant to be on each others lives right now and who knows why. I keep overthinking like any and every girl. Keep going over the way he said things tonight. Was it Flirty? Or was he just trying to be nice? Why so many Smileys when I wouldn't reciprocate? Why did he say i shouldn't be sorry? Do we have a chance? Would I want another chance? Why can't I let this one go? So much on my mind. I honestly think we still care for each other so strongly we just don't have the romantic feel there that we did. But I think I can live with that. Good thing is i'm super busy over the next two weeks so I won't worry about him too much over that period of time. Hopefully. Well maybe he'll think about me a bit and i'll think of him a little less. No matter what life goes on and i've found that loving when you're ready and not when you're lonely can bring some great things. Glass half full? Yeah? I got great friends at work and Emily. It's summer! I am going to youth conference this week downtown. My kittens are home safe tonight. I get paid tomorrow plus a bonus :) going to the temple tomorrow. There's just so much to look around and say thank you for. Things could always be worse. Well let's start this turning point with a good nights sleep. Goodnight!